Rearranging myself

I am restless. Its been very hard for me to sit down and create, until I am ignoring things that make me angry. It is hard, however, to be angry with sheep who like head scratches, and chickens who beg for attention when I go out to check on them. We have storms all around us right now as well, and I am both wired and fatigued, with deep aches. While I have found some balance finally on the medical end of things, I am still adjusting to the different scale of stresses, and the lack of stress from reduced contact with people. I feel like I don’t have enough of the right kinds of things to ignore to sit down and write.

I also screwed up. I started a WIP on the computer, for the first draft of a manuscript. I have always been a hand-written manuscript girl, and that worked well for me all through college. I would fill a notebook, and type the result, re-writing and editing as I went. I still did this, clear up till the last Scrounger Trilogy book.
I messed up on Lotus of the Stars(c). I wrote it on the computer, which works fine for most people. I have this weird, subconscious caveat for typed work, though. In my weird little reality, if I type it, I don’t re-write it, and I end up drowning in purple prose. I have had such a hard time editing on the computer, and finally realized one day(literally found a pinterest post that knocked me where it counts) that I needed to be re-writing, not editing. I would typically have written the book in a notebook or binder, and then gone through my scribbles and margin notes to rewrite the story, then edit multiple times. This time, it was typed! I slapped that file right into Createspace! OOPS. Yes, the book is going to be pretty, but it wasn’t near ready.
So I am behind by about 6 months. At this point, I can only hope to FINISH the rewrites and maybe publish this year, when originally, I wanted to publish for my birthday. NOPE.
Two things strike me:
One, that working for a high school that used computers changed my writing mode drastically, and two, that my health also did. Somewhere in the 2015 summer, my wrists began to hurt. I jokingly blame my cat for this, because when we got him, he spent all his time stretched across my lap, computer or not. I typed over him in an awkward position. Since then, I’ve also found out that I have tension pinching on my ulnar nerves. Fun. As to the school, there were several factors; my classes required use of computers for much of the class, from taking quizzes to writing papers, and this increased when the school did the 1:1 ratio, with personal laptops for the kids. My note-taking changed drastically when my dominant hand/arm hurt all the time, and I was coming to work with a brace on and fighting pain. Before this, I only used my computer for papers that would be shared to me, and still took written notes for everything else.

Then I stood in front of a back-to-school display in Walmart the other night, and something else dawned on me: I used to get so jazzed by clean paper and new pens. I used to be so organized with printed hard copies. So I bought paper, a 2″ 3 ring binder, some folders, and tab dividers. I got out my old Star Wars binder, the one from High school that I used to write EVERYTHING in, and cleaned it up. Since that night, I have basically reorganized and rearranged my writing existence. I typed and printed a to-do list for each book, based on what worked with Weird Wheat(because it was the best mode example for me) and stuck that on my wall. I printed and got other WIPs ready to be worked out on paper. I made files for new things I am working on, like the Anunnaki satire.
I thought it was my creativity waning. I even went through a spiritual revolution of concentrating on raising my creativity again. It turned out to be more a matter of left than right brain issues. I was disorganized and not following those modes that worked for me so well, when I was writing more frequently and successfully. My heath, my job, both affected and changed my mode, just so I could keep writing with both things present.
I’m back.

2017 Moriarty PL Authors for Literacy Event

Since I moved to NM, I had to rearrange my convention lifestyle, and I was looking at quitting anyway, before Jason and I moved. It was tedious, and one week last year I became a factory, churning out jewelry in a style not befitting my artistic views. It grossed me out!

However, I do still love a get-together. The Authors for Literacy event was just what I needed–a room full of educated writers and poets. I loved it! Everyone was so nice, and there was a relaxed atmosphere. They let me do a panel, since I was new. I was delighted to meet so many high-caliber fiction and non-fiction authors, and picked up/received so many nice cards and bookmarks. I’ll post all of the ones I have in my Creators page!

The person in charge wants to have a small comicon also, and I agreed to participate if they were able to get something together, and asked me to return next year. Of course I said yes!

Desert Ranch Life

Said during a road trip to White Sands this week: “Bob Ross didn’t paint Nature, Nature pretended to be Bob Ross’ paintings.”

We don’t have sheep or cows yet, but it’s on the list.

Right now I do have chickens. In my desire to not have to spend so much time on the road just for groceries, I purchased some chickens and picked out one of the old kennels on the property to become a new chicken coop. Of course, Jason will be building that for me; I have since learned that despite the more restful environment, any weather change or road trip still bothers my Fibromyalgia, which in turn affects the diabetes. The plus is that to do anything on the property, I must walk a distance, such as the mail box, which is a good 1/2 mile round trip. During these walks I am often bombarded by cool mountain winds, and flown over by a resident raven couple. We did have owls roosting in our pond trees, but I think they may have moved on to a quieter place to roost. Today a blizzard gusted through and drenched the fields in heavy wet flakes, which is wonderful.

I am editing both a short story and a novel, and while I do this, Jason is setting up our solar array. KS enacted some really dumb laws to prevent non-energy company people from installing the solar panel systems, so he’s using the ones from the old house and building a solar farm. I’ve also produced some art for the two writing projects: one scene, and several that were cover art ideas before I settled on my proposed cover art. Some things I do in the front room, others I do in my craft room. My journal gets more attention these days as well; there is far too much going on in the world for me to sit idle, so I document constantly.

I don’t love the long drives to get groceries or go to the doctor, but I do love waking up to mountains and to long stretches of land between me and my neighbors.  I love my isolation, I love being sequestered in a place where I can fully see the sky. Right now it’s still far too cold, but I can’t wait to spend my nights star gazing and my days taking care of animals. I’m hoping that this life helps my art and writing creation.

It’s snowing again. Time to start the pellet stove!